Ugh. For some reason unbeknownst to me, but probably due to the fact that the place is a craphole, my apartment complex has randomly changed from hard water (good) to soft water (gross). And it's affecting EVERYTHING. I can't even drink the water in my Brita pitcher anymore because it just tastes gross and overly-conditioned. And speaking of gross and over-conditioned, my hair is disgusting. I am sorry, but soft water is just no good, especially if you, like me, are cursed with pretty fine hair to begin with. Now my hair's all gross and limp, like asparagus which has been cooked one minute too long. And it looks like I didn't even bother to shower, which is of course not true. I shower every day! Sometimes several times a day! Showering is at least 7 minutes spent upright and devoted to my personal hygeine, and I want credit for that, damn it!
Luckily, Lush makes a soft water shampoo, so there's help out there. But that will take at least ten days to get here, and what do I do until then?
Also, in news that is upsetting me: a friend of mine (who will remain nameless, so as to save her from gaining internet fame from this story [the internet fame that would come from all ten people who read this]) told me that a certain celebrity in tight trousers who I love and adore was a bit of a charmless bastard to her whilst trying to get her to shag him in the bathroom of a club. I mean, no lie, if I'd been in her place, I'd have shagged him senseless, because A) he's hot and B) I love seedy bathroom hookups as much as the next ex-barfly, but I was sad that he was apparently really intimidating and sort of stroppy about the whole thing. Don't be like that, unnamed celebrity! Be the charming Essex imp we all thought you to be!
6 comments:
Oh, Unnamed Celebrity. Rest on the laurels of your outlandish hair and rakish charm. No need to intimidate.
Right? I mean, he's Unnamed Celebrity! There's no need to resort to being mean. He gets by on a wink and a smile!
Dear Unnamed Celebrity,
When you're a famous boy, it gets really easy to get girls,
it's all so easy you get a bit spoilt.
But, when you try to pull a girl, who is also famous too,
it feels just like when you wasn't famous.
true, Brianna. Let us not forget the immortal words of Mike Skinner, who was trying to pull Fearne Cotton at the time.
(cause apparently when you get famous you also want to shag annoying harpies? idk.)
OI. do not speak ill of La Cotton. She is is a tiny pixie of delightful incomptence.
And screeching vocal stylings.
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