12 September 2008

this must be how tina turner felt

There are tons of things I don't like about living on the Gulf Coast (the heat, the humidity, the . . . okay, mostly the heat and the humidity), but one thing I love is hurricane season! Yes, yes, I know that hurricanes are destructive and bad and I shouldn't wish that they come our way, but . . . I secretly do. And now, as long as the massively large Hurricane Ike stays on track, Houston will actually get a hurricane! For like the first time in a coon's age! Amazing!

So here, in case you are wondering, are all the great things about hurricanes:

6) Getting the day off work. My work actually closed the building for Friday! That never happens! Of course, it was our Off Friday and not many people were working anyway, and of course I've been working since I got home tonight, but still! Hurricanes are like snow days but with less chance of frostbite.

5) The names. Every storm which reaches Tropical Depression strength becomes a "named storm," which means that NOAA gives it the next name in the alphabetical rotation (or, in the case of the year of Katrina and Rita, runs out of names and starts assigning them Greek letters.). Sometimes, if you get lucky, they name a storm after you! I've lived through seeing two storms named Erin - both talked a big game and then petered out because it was too lazy to continue. Tell me large formations of oceanic low pressure ridges don't know their namesakes!

Also sometimes NOAA goes crazy on the naming for the year and you get things like Tropical Storm Eduoard. I really wish they'd start taking a page from Hollywood's book and then we could have Tropical Depression Apple and Hurricane Kal-El. Actually, it'd be way better if all storms could be comic book references instead.

4) The weather. I don't know if you've heard this about Texas and the rest of the South, but, um, it gets kinda hot during the summer. Like, "break into a sweat walking to your mailbox"-type hot. Hurricanes drop the temps a good ten degrees and bring tons of fun thunderstorms to watch out on your porch, or from the safety of your plywood-covered windows.

3) The comraderie. Remember how, after 9/11, everyone was really nice to each other? For, like, a few hours? Until the threats against the Muslim communities started? Tragedy brings communities together. When confronted with a giant force of nature (or otherwise), you have no choice but to band together and realize that, as humans, we are merely pegs in the giant cribbage board of Fate. I think that's a proper analogy, anyway. I never actually learned to play cribbage. Plus, it's pretty easy to bond with your fellow man when you're stuck in the checkout lane at wal-mart for five hours with the rest of the yahoos in your town, just to fill up on bottled water. Which leads me to:

2) The hysteria. Okay, okay, the pre-hurricane hysteria's not a good thing when you're stuck in evacuation traffic or can't go to Target to get the latest Jemma Kidd makeup collection cause all of Houston is freaking out over how many bottles of water and D-batteries they have personally stored in their garage. Plus, everyone knows that the only good store to hit up during a hurricane is Spec's, due to the number one, GREATEST thing about hurricanes, which is:

1) HURRICANE PARTIES! Look, when you're faced with the certainty that your power will blow and all your food and beer will be ruined unless you consume it quickly, your only option is to band together with your friends and neighbors and glutton yourself on food and booze. My friend Suzanne's husband owns a restaurant near my house, and during the Hurricane-That-Wasn't (Rita), he lost power at the restaurant for three days. What other option did he have but to liberate all the steaks from the restaurant's fridge and have a bbq? You don't want that sort of thing going to waste, after all! There are starving people . . . somewhere else.

So, I say, bring it on, Ike. Or, shift east to Lake Charles at the last minute like the coward you are. Whatevs.


olivia said...

I talked to my brother on the phone last night (both of my bros live in Houston) while he checked the flood plain projections and other weather info, and it made me have my own favorite thing about severe weather. I often feel quite far removed from my family's life because I, like, live in the UK, which is indeed really far from Texas. But when you're talking to people about something as basic as severe weather, as long as there's not really really severe damage to anyone or anything (and I desperately hope there will not be), there is a bonding and a participation I can have by reading about the hurricane and imagining the highways my brothers mention, etc. And begging them to stay together during the hurricane, and the way my aunt called them to tell them to stay in contact with her mother-in-law, who is also in Houston and who they have never met. It brings people together.

Incidentally, my bros are planning a 3-day bender, I was informed last night. So they'd agree with your #1.

poshdeluxe said...

can i just say, again, how glad i am that you're blogging again?

seriously, erin, you need to get a gig with jezebel.

speaking of, there needs to be a hurricane jezebel. AWESOME.

i wish i had the day off, but i live in austin, where people don't seem to panic about much of anything. oh well. i think i'll still stay inside tomorrow due to the threat of MASSIVE RAIN OMG WHAT WILL WE DO.

Erin said...

Olivia, my parents have forced me and my brother and extended family to all come to their house tonight. I've never understood this plan. Surely, in the event of a life-threatening storm, what you want to do is make sure your family is spread around town, not gathered all in one place. Basic law of probabilities states that our genetic code is safer the more places it's spread around town!

Sarah, considering I got in a fight with someone this week because they called Sarah Palin a bitch, and I told them that was sexist, I think I've got my feminist boxing gloves on and ready to go!

Moody said...

I would like to refer you to my blog as a Yang to your Yin about the Hurricane Party. I for one was getting tired of coming to this site only to see July 24 on here for 3 months. That number was estimated of course.

Erin said...

I'm just sayin', moody, I'm not under a "boil wine" alert right now.

Moody said...

post-hurricane weather is AWESOME!!!